


For half a night together...

by chenria



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 13:32:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7803811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenria/pseuds/chenria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen Rutherford and Elyria Amell knew each other since the times at the Circle of Magi in Ferelden. When it all was over they met again, briefly. Their love was not meant to last...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drabble

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

He knew that it was wrong to watch her – only her. She was not meant to be his, nor was he meant to be hers. Worlds separated them.

It was cruel to see her with the other mage. He was allowed to touch her, to talk to her. She was laughing about his jokes, blushing when he called her pretty and holding his hand whenever they were alone. Never would she do any of this for him.

Cullen turned away, seeing them together hurt too much.

He knew that his foolish infatuation with her would haunt him one day… but nobody could deny him some dreams. He had given up so much… what risk was there to preserve a dream…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elyria's Harrowing was by far the fastest and cleanest Harrowing he had ever seen, and Maker knew, he had seen a lot and some had been messy… (here I kept to the game canon of the fast Harrowing. Even if Elyria was not going to be the Warden, she was still a talented mage).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.   
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

“Elyria Amell!” boomed a dark voice through the hall and every whispered conversation ceased as the young apprentice rose from her chair. All colour had drained from her face as she turned to face the three Templars that approached her. Knight-Commander Greagoire was leading them and he looked at her with a skeptical frown. “Come with us,” he said coolly. 

Elyria nodded and she felt Jowan press her hand. She looked down on him, trying to smile, but judging from his expression she probably did badly. Nobody had to tell her where she was supposed to go. Rumors had spread in the past week that she would be called for the Harrowing soon. And everybody knew what that meant. You either returned as a full pledged mage or not at all. She was scared. 

With relief she saw First Enchanter Irving as she entered the top chambers of the Circle Tower. He looked at her with a reassuring smile. “Just trust your instincts and use what you have learned,” he told her, leading her to a small well. She could feel the Lyrium’s energy radiating from it, could feel it crawl on her skin. In the back of the room she could see Cullen, but right now she didn’t care. 

“What… will I have to do?” she asked, her voice shaking. 

“You will enter the Fade where you will be put through a test,” Greagoire said and looked at Elyria with cold eyes. “Move away Irving, she has to face the Harrowing alone.”

“Be strong, child,” Irving said, smiling at her once more before stepping away. Elyria faced the lyrium well and approached it carefully. She had read about the Fade. She wouldn’t fail now, she had come too far. 

 

* * *

 

Cullen was assigned to watch the Harrowing, to deliver the fatal blow if Elyria failed, to prevent her from becoming an abomination. And for the first time nobody would question why he looked at her intently. She stood before the well and her fingertips touched the lyrium. He knew what would happen. She would stay there, motionless, just her eyes would move like in a vivid dream behind closed lids. 

Her lips trembled and he wondered if that was how she looked whenever she was asleep. She looked so innocent. How could someone suspect her of evil? He hoped he wouldn’t have to kill her. Suddenly she gasped and he looked at her with a startled expression. She opened her eyes, blinked and fainted. 

Everyone was motionless. Irving and Greagoire looked at each other with questioning gazes as Irving carefully approached her and felt her pulse. “She is alive,” he said and opened one of her lids to see her eyes. “And she passed the Harrowing.” 

Cullen blinked. That was by far the fastest and cleanest Harrowing he had ever seen, and Maker knew, he had seen a lot and some had been messy… 

“Take her to the apprentice quarters till she gets up. She should see a familiar surrounding when she gains consciousness again,” Irving said and Greagoire nodded in approval. He waved at Cullen to pick her up while he watched as Irving and the other watching Templars left the room.

Cullen had sheathed the blade again and knelt next to the unconscious Elyria. She looked so fragile and he wanted nothing more than to touch her face. But he knew that the Knight-Commander was watching him. With a stern expression he picked her up from the floor and carried her out of the room and down the stairs. He was glad he didn’t have to kill her. He would have done it, but he would have regretted it. 

Other mages were watching as he put her in her bed and left the quarters. He couldn’t dare to linger but with a pang of jealousy he saw Jowan sitting down on the bed next to her, holding her hand. 


	3. The Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Elyria share a glimpse of a secret that would get them both in trouble if anyone knew about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.   
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

"And then his cape caught fire and everyone was screaming but nobody knew a water or ice spell and ... well the Enchanter was too confused to extinguish his own burning robes."

 Vivid laughter followed the retelling of Lirae's adventures in her first elemental magic lesson. Jowan had tears in his eyes and Elyira giggled in amusement.

 Lirae was a young mage, just 12 years old and she had only joined the Circle half a year ago. She had accepted her fate, like most of the mages did, and she was a bubbly kid. 

 "I would have loved to see the Enchanter's face," Jowan grinned.

 "Then you would have to go to detention, just like me," Lirae sighed and looked over her shoulder.

 The three mages fell silent in an instant. Whenever Templars were around nobody really dared to laugh or jest.

 "I... should be going," the young mage said and left Elyria and Jowan in the study hall.

 Elyria carefully glanced to the Templars who were watching them. One of them was Cullen, the other was called Hagen. Hagen was everything Cullen was not. Hagen was considered handsome but his heart was made of stone, or missing ... Elyria wasn't so sure. He liked to torture mages and she had heard gruesome gossip. Why Cullen was with him was beyond her understanding.

Hagen had long dark hair, tied in a plaid and cold grey eyes that seemed to know no mercy.

 "Let's go to the library, El, there is a rotting smell in the air," Jowan said loudly enough for the Templars to hear.

"Be silent or you'll get us both in trouble," Elyria said urgently.

"For what? For talking to my girlfriend?" Jowan looked at her quizzically. "They can't punish me for being with you." He grinned at her and leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

Elyria looked startled. It always made her feel strange to be kissed by Jowan. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, it just... it confused her. And it always boded danger if Templars knew about close relationships - it was something they could use against you. 

"Oh you're so cute," Jowan laughed and kissed her again as the sound of crashing glass got both their attention.

They looked up and Elyria could see that Cullen held his hand while Hagen was talking to him furiously. From the look of it Cullen had somehow smashed some kind of test glass. They must've been in the study hall to collect the remnants of the potions some mages had been putting together earlier that day. They were suspecting corruption everywhere these days.

"Amell!" Hagen shouted and Elyria looked over to him.

"What?!" She tried not to look to Cullen.

"Over here."

"You can't order us around like pets!" Jowan interrupted and held Elyria's arm.

"It's okay," Elyria said. "Go to the library, I'll be there in a minute."

Jowan looked at her earnestly for a moment and nodded before he left. Elyira walked over to Hagen and Cullen, trying to look as if she couldn't care less about them.

"Everyone keeps telling how amazing your healing skills are... so prove it. Heal his hand," Hagen ordered.

Elyria looked up. "Don't you have potions or bandages?" she asked.

"Heal him!" Hagen ordered.

"You're out of line Hagen," Cullen finally said and Elyria felt his eyes on her.

"She's just a mage, why do you care about manners," he laughed.

"She's a human being, just like you," Cullen insisted through gritted teeth. "Now leave. Take the remaining vials to the Knight-Commander."

"Yes, Ser," Hagen said in a mocking tone and left.

"I'm sorry he's ... a jerk," Cullen said and Elyria finally looked up to him. His eyes had the color of copper and Elyria couldn't help but wonder how eyes as gentle as his could belong to a Templar.

"I'm used to it by now," she said with a weak smile. "But... now show me your hand."

Reluctantly Cullen held up his bleeding palm. A few shards of glass still remained in the wound and Elyria frowned. "How did you do that?" she wondered.

Cullen didn't answer and Elyria suspected that it was the best for both of them to not say anything. She carefully plucked the shards from his hand and closed her hands around it. A faint blue light circled around their hands and when she let go his wound was healed.

"So it is true, your healing magic is exceptional."

Elyria smiled weakly. "A compliment coming from a Templar, I should be proud. Thank you." She wanted to turn around to go to the library and to Jowan when he held her hand.

She held her breath and slowly turned around before she finally withdrew her hand from his grasp.

"He kissed you," Cullen said with a whisper.

"Who- oh..." Elyria looked around. There was nobody there. "He is my boyfriend..."

"I know... and I shouldn't..." Cullen sighed.

"That's right... you shouldn't... and I should leave. Because it's me who would get the blame and..." She touched his hand carefully one more time. "Take more care... don't crash glasses while I'm around. I can't bear the sight of your blood..."

"As much as I can't bear the sight of another man kissing you..."

She looked up with a sad smile. "You know where my heart belongs," she whispered.

"As you do about mine."

Their fingers locked for a moment - it was their secret, and their biggest fear - before Elyria turned around and hurried out of the study hall. Cullen remained standing for a moment. He stared just ahead to the spot where Elyria had stood a few moments ago. With a frown he flexed his fingers and finally turned around to go look for Hagen.


	4. The Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another glimpse into the daily life at the Circle of Magi - before everything went down...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

Since Jowan had fled the Circle Elyria was watched closely. Even though she had cooperated and told Irving about her friend’s plans the Knight-Commander didn’t trust her. She sat in the library, nose buried in a tome about arcane spells. She didn’t listen to her surroundings. There were whispers and rustles, the moving of chairs, the flapping of turned pages. Everybody assumed she was studying, but nobody knew that she was just staring at the pages without seeing anything. She occasionally turned the pages to not cause suspicion.

Why had Jowan betrayed her trust? She would have never thought that he would dabble in blood magic. She had coped with the fact that he had a new girlfriend, a sister with a ridiculous hairstyle… but he had liked her and she seemed nice enough. And Selene had said the she would probably never like any of the girls Jowan dated… her friend had no idea how right she had been.

But that he would use blood magic… no, it still seemed impossible.

“Advanced magic, today, huh?” someone suddenly said next to her and Elyria looked up. She blinked, startled and confused before she realized that it was Selene who had talked to her. The young elf sat down next to her and grinned.

“Advanced? No… just basic…” Elyria looked at the book in front of her and realized that she had read it upside down. She blushed and turned the book around.

“Ah, don’t worry, nobody saw,” Selene giggled. Elyria mustered a small smile and nodded. Selene sighed as she looked into Elyria’s face and took the book away from her. “You know, I talked to the First Enchanter and he agreed that you should help me with my herbalism studies… that’s why I am forcing you to come to the gardens with me and pluck some herbs…”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Elyria mumbled.

“Your best friend is an apostate, the Templars are watching every step you make… it is a very good idea to get some fresh air. And you might not believe it, the sun is shining out there. When was the last time you left the library?”

Elyria hesitated and Selene stood up. “That’s enough. You’re coming with me!”

Resigning to her fate Elyria rose. “Let me put the books back into the shelves… I’ll be there in a moment,” she said.

The young elf nodded in agreement and left the library again.

From the corner of her eyes Elyria saw a Templar approaching her. She was prepared to see Hagen, he seemed to take pleasure in mocking and tormenting her lately. But when she turned her face it was Cullen. He took the books from her and looked through the pages. A common security measure. Some Templars even suspected the mages to rebel through secretly passed notes. Elyria knew that her books were regularly checked for secret notes after what Jowan had done.

“I miss your smile,” Cullen said with a whisper without looking up.

“I don’t have much reason to smile lately,” Elyria whispered back.

“Your friend still lives, isn’t that reason enough?” Cullen asked and looked into her eyes.

“How can you be certain he is still alive?” Elyria asked. “For all I know, he could be dead by now…”

“Trust me… Hagen would tell you,” Cullen said gloomily and put the book into the shelf.

“So… you wouldn’t?” Elyria said with a sad smile.

“I would try to be the first to tell you… to warn you…”

Elyria looked up at him and a faint smile hushed over her lips. “I appreciate it, thank you,” she said and walked past him. Her hand brushed against his, like so many times. It still was their secret and both knew that even the smallest hint of their affection for each other could doom them both. But Elyria was relieved to know that there was one nice Templar left in the Tower, one who would warn her of her best friend was captured and … executed.

“Amell,” Cullen suddenly said and Elyria froze before turning around. “You forgot to cork your ink.”

She nodded hastily and returned to her desk, closing the little ink bottle. Her eyes fell on a small piece of parchment and she tucked it under the hem of her sleeve. Without looking back she hurried out of the library.

When she was in an empty corridor she hid behind a corner in the shadows and unfolded the parchment. There was just one word written on it and Elyria smiled. When she left the shadows she saw Cullen not too far and he smiled back at her when he saw her. She blushed and hurried down the corridor.

“Smile,” written in Cullen’s strong handwriting stood on the parchment.  


	5. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Elyria found Cullen in the tower (after Meriana Cousland had beat Uldred) he was still thinking that it was a demon's vision. He still thought that it couldn't be her who was worried about him. So he had taken a random sharp object and tried to stab her. He was too weak to aim so he "only" hit her hip. It was severe enough for her to need a healer (Wynne was still there to care for that). Elyria survived but when she woke up there was a letter waiting for her. She is reading it after the final battle since she didn't dare to read it sooner.   
> Up until this point Elyria and Cullen have NEVER kissed nor done anything that would count as intimate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

> _"Elyria,_
> 
> _I wanted to leave and let the past behind me,_  
>  but my conscience urged me to at least tell you that I'm gone...   
> but I'm sure you're well aware of that fact by now.
> 
> _How is your hip? I am really sorry and I hope you won't keep a scar._
> 
> _But well... I won't see you again._
> 
> _It'll be for the best ... trust me.  
>  It would be too painful for... either of us._
> 
> _But be aware, I'm sorry I... I'm just sorry._
> 
> _Just take care and stay who you are,  
>  you are one of the few good mages._
> 
> _  
>  _ _Farewell_
> 
> _Cullen"_

 

Elyria folded the letter and rested her head on the wall behind her. "Farewell Cullen," she whispered. "I wish you knew I never blamed you." And with that she stood up again. With a groan she held her hip, where he had stabbed her. She would keep a scar, but it would be a constant reminder of what evils magic could bring to all of them.

She looked around and took a deep breath. It would take months to tidy up everything... but at least it would be a welcome distraction.

Jowan was gone, hunted as an apostate and blood mage... and now Cullen was gone as well. She would have joined the final battle ... but the wound on her hip that hat punctuated her left kidney had bound her to the infirmary. Many of the few that were left of them had joined the final battle and only fewer had returned. And for what? She didn't care who ruled Ferelden.   
  
All she knew: nothing would be the same again.


	6. Kirkwall I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is Knight-Captain in Kirkwall - and an unexpected Enchanter from Ferelden is supposed to help with mage problems in the Kirkwall Circle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

Every day there were more reports about rebel mages. One day this would be all coming back to them. Cullen looked at the reports that had been delivered earlier that day and rubbed his temples.

Meredith became more paranoid by the day and he wasn't so sure her means were as righteous as she thought they would. And now they even had to request help from other Circles. It wasn't easy to find mages who worked well with Templars. He couldn't blame them. He had seen what Templars could do to mages. But on the other hand he had seen first hand what mages were capable of. He saw the scars every night before he went to bed.

A knock on the door made him look up. "What?" he asked. If the initiates or other Templars were coming to him for every tidbit he would never be able to finish his work.

Complaints, accusations... he had to sift through all the papers and delegate the tasks. Knight-Commander Meredith wouldn't trouble herself with the basic works.

The door opened and a young initiate looked up at him. "Sorry to disturb you, Knight-Captain, but the Fereldan enchanter arrived... do... do you want to talk to her or shall I show her to the Knight-Commander?"

Cullen shook his head. "No, show her in," he said and put the papers into a drawer. Just two weeks ago Meredith had angered an enchanter in a way that he wasn't willing to cooperate and had to be sent back to his Circle (for his own safety). Cullen decided that it was better to deal with the new enchanter himself.

"Knight-Captain?" a female voice suddenly said and Cullen's head jerked up. It couldn't be.

He turned around and saw his fears confirmed. He could see his own puzzlement mirrored in the enchanter's eyes.

"Cullen?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"...you?" Cullen shook his head. Before him stood Elyria. She had barely changed, he thought. She still looked like he remembered her.

"Yes... me," Elyria said who was the first to find her speech again. "I might be inclined Irving knew you were here when he told me I was to help in the Free Marches..."

"So you're enchanter now," Cullen concluded and gestured towards a chair, but Elyria remained standing.

Elyria gave a small shrug. "So what? You asked for help, here I am... but first I'd like to change. There was no opportunity to take a proper bath on board of the ship you sent."

"Of course, your room has been prepared," Cullen said and found himself wondering where her smile had gone. The mage he remembered had always smiled, the young woman in front of him looked serious. But she had survived the same horrors... and maybe more. He still remembered what he had done to her in his delusion.

"Thank you," Elyria said with a nod and turned to the door. "And before you try to stab me again... I am here to help. I will help your Order to find the rebel mages. And I will return to the Circle as I am told."

"I trust you to do so," Cullen said and Elyria turned around one more time.

She said nothing and just looked at him. Then she turned to the door and closed it behind her.

Cullen leaned against his desk for a moment and groaned. He rubbed his temples with his left hand and glanced at the remaining papers on his desk. So in addition to rebel mages, the Champion of Kirkwall bringing even more trouble to town and rumors of a Dragon in the Bone Pitt some Divine Force had thought it was a funny idea to send the woman he had once loved with a passion and nearly killed to aid him. How was this day going to get even worse?

Oh right, he had to meet with Meredith and tell her that Ely- the Fereldan enchanter had arrived. And meeting with Meredith always ended in new ridiculous paranoid accusations of her. 


	7. Kirkwall II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is Knight-Captain in Kirkwall - and an unexpected Enchanter from Ferelden is supposed to help with mage problems in the Kirkwall Circle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

“All mages are to remain in their quarters,” an annoyed male voice sounded over the corridor and Cullen looked up as he left his small office.

“Pardon me, I will return at once,” was the quiet reply and Cullen recognized the voice. He strode into the direction of the voices and found Elyria in the company of one of the guards.

“It’s all right, Walder. I asked the enchanter to meet me here,” he said and the young Templar nodded and returned to his post.

Elyria looked up at him with a smile. “Thank you. And I’m sorry, I tend to forget that I can’t go and see the stars here… your rules are strict.”

“The rules are necessary,” Cullen replied.

Neither of them said anything for a moment and Elyria sat down on a spur. “I am going to return to Ferelden on the morrow,” Elyria started and Cullen nodded sullenly. He knew. It was his task to know what was going on. “You should know that I wasn’t just sent here to help you find rebel mages… I am also supposed to report what is going on in Kirkwall.”

“I thought as much,” he said and sat down next to her. “What are you going to tell them?”

Elyria looked up to the stars above them. “That compared to Kirkwall we handle things a lot more laxly in the Tower.” She had to smile and Cullen couldn’t hide a tiny smile of amusement either. He turned with a frown as he heard Elyria gasp and saw her staring at him.

“What?” he asked.

“You smiled.” She looked at him with a wide smile herself. “I thought you forgot how to smile. I’ve never seen you do anything but glare in the last week.”

“There is not much to smile about.” He looked at her and turned his gaze away.

“That’s true… I can see the threat you are facing here.” She looked around if there was another person nearby. “But I think some of you are overreacting.”

Cullen looked at her with a serious expression. “What do you mean?”

“I heard the other mages and some Templars… I’m not accusing anyone, but promise me, be careful. Sometimes the threat is not amongst the mages.”

“I know what you mean,” Cullen replied calmly. He took a deep breath and looked in her eyes. They were still the sparkly, dark green he remembered. And her smile was still dazzling. But he was not just a mere Templar anymore. He was not allowed to think the thoughts he had right now.

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you Cullen…”

He looked at her and he could only see honesty in her eyes. And he knew that he had been wrong. She hadn’t blamed him for what had happened and all the arguments in the past couple of days… he should have noticed it.

She wasn’t saying anything and for a moment he pondered if he should just kiss her. But he looked away and the frail moment was gone. The last time they had kissed… the only time they had ever kissed, he had nearly killed her.

“I should return to my room,” Elyria said and stood up.

Cullen realized that it might be the last time he ever saw her. She would leave with the ship in the morning. “Wait…” he heard himself saying and Elyria stopped and sat down again with a startled expression.

“I want you to know, that I am glad you are all right. I always meant to give you something… even before everything fell apart.” He smiled sadly and pulled a small pendant from under his armor. He pulled it over his head and looked at the small sigil for a moment. It was the pendant he had gotten as he became a full Templar.

He took one of Elyria’s hands and let the necklace fall into her palm. “Take it and remember, that not all Templars are bad persons.”

Elyria smiled and nodded. Were there tears in her eyes? If so, she hastily blinked them away. “Thank you, Cullen.”

Approaching footsteps broke the silence and Elyria hastily hid the pendant while Cullen rose to his feet. “You should really return to your quarters, enchanter. I will address your concerns tomorrow,” Cullen said as he saw Ser Thrask walking in the hallway.

“Thank you, Knight-Captain,” Elyria said silently and her hand brushed over his as she walked past him to return to her room. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is Knight-Captain in Kirkwall - and an unexpected Enchanter from Ferelden is supposed to help with mage problems in the Kirkwall Circle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

“Knight-Captain?” Thrask said and nodded in Cullen’s direction.

Cullen just nodded back and strode towards the door but he stopped when Thrask called after him: “We are allowed to feel, Knight-Captain. I hope you do remember that.”

“Good night, Ser Thrask,” was all Cullen said and he walked to his quarter. He was glad that he had a room for himself. As second in command in the Gallows he needed at least the peace of his room. He would need it especially tonight. He had to collect his thoughts.

Did Thrask know? Did others know? Elyria wouldn’t have said anything. No… whenever they were seen together in the past week they ended up arguing… people must assume they hated each other. If truth be told, hate was the least he felt for her.

He shed his armor and stretched his muscles. His fingers traced the lines of the old scars. Reminders of the past. With a stern expression he looked to the door. No, he couldn’t.

 

* * *

 

 

Elyria sat on her bed and stared at the pendant. Her heart was racing and a single tear rolled down her cheek. He didn’t hate her.

Tomorrow she would return to Ferelden and she doubted that she would ever see the Free Marches again. Worse, she would never see Cullen again. It had taken months to forget him the first time… She stroked the pendant and put it around her neck. She would at least have something to remind her that Cullen was there somewhere.

A knock on her door made her rose. She expected one of the Templars to check if she was in her quarters and not out there, plotting evil schemes. Some of the local Templars were really paranoid and truly, she knew enough about blood magic to tell them all that it normally didn’t involve naked dancing under the moonlight.

But when she opened the door she stepped back in surprise. “You?”

Cullen put a finger on her lips and shook his head. “Be silent,” he whispered and dragged her out of the room, closing the door behind him and leading her down the corridor.

She was too confused to pay attention to where they were going. The last time he had dragged her out of her bed and to a place she didn’t know was several years ago – when the Tower was under attack from demoms... from within. Sudden fear spread in her breast as he opened another door and pulled her in with him. It was dark as he closed the door behind them and locked it.

He pushed her against the wall and locked her between his strong arms. “Cullen, what-?” Elyria started to say, but he broke all conversation as he leaned down and kissed her. Elyria’s eyes grew wide with disbelief, shock and surprise.

As Cullen finally broke their kiss he looked at her with dark eyes, clouded with something Elyria didn’t know. He was breathing heavily and his thumb outlined the lines of her lips. “For years I’ve been lying to myself,” he said hoarsely. “We might never get another chance…”

Elyria looked utterly confused and judging from Cullen’s sudden smile he could see it in her eyes. But his smile made her heart race. “But… Cullen...”

“Both our lives will always be dominated by rules… tonight I don’t want to listen to any rules...” Cullen kissed her again, more softly this time and this time Elyria closed her eyes and carefully wrapped her arms around him. Kissing him felt great and if it wasn’t followed by a stabbing wound it even felt exhilarating.

“But… there is a but,” Elyria said huskily as she pulled away.

“Oh… you have someone in Ferelden...?” Cullen asked and she could see the regret in his eyes.

“No… no that’s not it.” She laughed nervously. “It’s… you know… I don’t know… what… how…” She gestured helplessly. But there was suddenly something in Cullen’s expression that made her look down. He put a hand under her chin and made her look up again.

“You have never been with a man?”

Elyria shook her head. She felt stupid.

Cullen pushed a strand of her hair out of her cheek and bent down to kiss her again, long and deep as he pressed her body against his. She could feel his arousal and it made her blush even more.

“We only have this one night,” Cullen breathed and guided her through the darkness of the room. “Let us make the most of the time that’s given to us.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is Knight-Captain in Kirkwall - and an unexpected Enchanter from Ferelden is supposed to help with mage problems in the Kirkwall Circle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote 2 1/2 years ago... When Inquisition wasn't released yet. I had this idea of Cullen and my non-Warden Amell... though they were never meant to be together.  
> I wanted to share their story... (mature content is not happening before the last chapter).
> 
> I also decided to post all the snippets I once wrote regarding their relationship. Some chapters are longer than others. The first is just a drabble...
> 
> It got never beta-read or properly proof read... I just put it here because two people asked me to over the past 2 years :P

The moment their lips had joined he knew that he had lied to himself. It wasn’t wrong to love her. Something so sweet and desirable couldn’t be wrong. And it felt so much better, so much more real than any of the temptations the demons had shown him so many years ago.

Cullen had been with a few women in the past. But neither of them had aroused him quite this much just with kissing. He guided her to his bed. He would be damned but tonight he couldn’t care less.

Her soft hands carefully dug under the hem of his shirt and he held his breath. She was sending sparks through his body. Hastily she pulled her hands back and broke the kiss. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t ever apologize,” Cullen said in a whisper and put her hands back on his stomach.

“You must think I’m stupid…” she said nervously.  He noticed that her hands were slightly trembling and if he wouldn’t have been already fully erect, that alone would have done the job.

“You are not stupid, you are …” He shook his head and his lips trailed the curve of her neck. “… You are gorgeous.” A soft moan escaped her lips and Cullen closed his eyes. His fingers found the buttons of her robes and he carefully started to unbutton them.

Slowly he pushed her robes over her shoulders and they tumbled to her feet, leaving her in her smallclothes. Maker, she was indeed gorgeous. He pulled her near again, kissing her passionately and cherishing the feeling of her hands tangled in his hair.

He led her back to the bed, so that she had to lie down while he knelt over her, never releasing her lips in the process. Under his breeches it was impossible to hide his erection.

Elyria gasped as Cullen bent down and kissed his way down to her breasts. His hands were rough, but gentle and every time he touched her he sent thousands of sparks through her body. She nearly yelped as Cullen’s fingers dug under the fabric of her undershirt and cupped her breasts. He chuckled hoarsely and looked up to look her in the eyes again. “You can tell me to stop,” he said.

She giggled and shook her head. She doubted that either of them could stop now and both of them sat up long enough to pull her shirt over her head. Cullen’s shirt followed hers to the floor as well. His bare chest made her stare in fascination. The lean muscles were the most impressive sight she had ever seen. She had never seen a naked man before… Coarse blond hair was covering his chest, but it made him look adventurous and manly. She brushed her fingers over his chest and Cullen hissed with a sharp intake of breath.

There was a fire in his eyes she had never seen before. It was as if he could only see her and nothing else. She noticed the faint lines of scars on his chest and arms and her fingers trailed a long scar on his collarbone carefully.

“How…?” she asked carefully as Cullen took her hand.

“Uldred… but let’s not talk about him right now,” he requested before kissing her again. He enjoyed kissing her soft, warm lips. Why he had waited so long to taste her was beyond his understanding. To feel her touch on his skin, her eyes on his body… it was everything he could have asked of the Maker.

With his hands he started to caress her body, the soft skin was sending shivers through his body. His fingers stopped above the hem of her panties and he looked at the small scar that was visible on her hip. When she realized where he was looking, she tried to hide the scar with her hand, but he shook his head and bent down to kiss it instead. This was his doing. She moaned softly as his lips caressed the sensitive skin of her belly and the fingers of his right hand slipped carefully under the damp fabric of her panties.

“Maker!” Elyria gasped and covered her mouth with her own hands as she felt Cullen’s fingers stroke her most sensual part. Nobody had ever touched her there and the light brush of Cullen’s fingers alone made her moan with lust.

She was so sensitive; it was a pleasure for Cullen to tease her. His fingers stroked over her femininity and he cherished the warm heat. She was already wet and Cullen could hardly wait to claim her, to finally unite them. But this was probably their only night together… he promised himself to make it last. One of his fingers carefully slid into her tight body. She was so ready and he adored the sight of her flushed body as she moaned and grabbed the sheets. “Cullen,” she breathed and he sealed her lips with a hot kiss as he gently started to move his finger inside of her, slowly starting to stretch her.

Nothing Elyria had ever felt, felt as intense as the sensation of Cullen’s hand. As he started to move inside of her, she thought she was going to lose her mind. She wanted him to never stop. And as his lips closed around one of her peaked nipples and his teeth teased her she could barely restrain from screaming out. She grabbed his pillow and muffled her cries within it. She felt him push her panties down to her knees before a second finger slid into her innermost while his thumb brushed over her small nub and left her trembling.

It was like an explosion that spread through all of her body and she cried out. Nothing had ever made her feel so good. Her toes curled in ecstasy and her hips buckled against his hand. The feeling of a thousand stars settled in all of her muscles and she was only released when he pulled his fingers out of her body. Muffled by the pillow she moaned Cullen’s name again and again before he took it away from her and kissed her passionately.

She lay naked on the bed. He still knelt over her and she suddenly felt the need to see all of him. She wanted him so badly. As if reading her thoughts he stood up and climbed out of his boots and breeches.

Elyria, still shaking from her first orgasm, looked at him. Her look wandered from his face over his muscular chest down to his groin. He stood erect, strong and fascinating. She had nothing to compare him with, but she was sure, that not every man could brace himself with such a sight. She sat up and knelt on the bed before she carefully extended one of her hands and touched him.

The moment her fingers touched him, Cullen groaned; a dark, dangerous passionate sound. She looked up to him, locking her eyes with his before she closed one of her hands around his shaft.

Cullen closed his eyes and Elyria noticed that his hands were clenched to fists. Daring she moved her hand up and down before she leaned forward and her tongue licked over the head of his member. He was so big and hot. He seemed to pulse as she stroked the tender skin.

“Maker,” he groaned deep and throaty. “You don’t… Elyria…” he couldn’t finish his sentence because Elyria licked over the head one more time before carefully taking him in her mouth. She might not have firsthand experience, but she had read enough books to know that this was something every man liked. Cautiously and slowly she licked and sucked, always supported by her hand. Cullen’s hands were buried in her hair and he growled heavily. The act felt so intimate and arousing. And to hear him pant and moan whenever she gently sucked on the sensitive skin made her heart race.

This was like a forbidden dream. He couldn’t concentrate on anything but the fact that she was kneeling before him and that her sweet, delicious lips were caressing him. It was a dream he never dared to dream. It had been too inappropriate. But if she kept going like this he would be finished too early. It took all of his willpower to move away and pull her up to him. “You’re killing me,” he said hoarsely and saw a sparkle in her eyes.

“Cullen,” she whispered as she looked him in the eyes. “I want you.”

It was everything he needed to hear. Carefully he put her back on the bed and spread her legs with his knee. He leaned down, kissing her while guiding his erection to her wet entry. “I’ll be gentle,” he said, whispering in her ear. Elyria nodded and closed her eyes as she felt Cullen glide inside her.

It felt overwhelming. He was so big and she wondered if he was really going to fit into her. Her hands dug into the sheets and she moaned with lust. At one point Cullen stopped and looked at her with concern. She knew he didn’t want to hurt her, but she also knew that she wouldn’t want any other man to be the first… When he saw her nod Cullen pulled back carefully and with a short thrust he was inside of her.

Elyria flinched and closed her eyes again. It burned more than she had anticipated. Cullen didn’t move and bent down to kiss her tenderly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing her closed eyes.

“No… it’s all right,” she said and buried her hands in his hair and Cullen carefully started to move in and out of her. And soon the pain faded into nothing but bliss.

She was so tight and it was as if he was just made for her. With long and slow thrusts he joined their bodies over and over again. Watching her pant and moan was more rewarding than anything he had ever experienced. Soon their bodies moved in unison and the muffled moans of lust filled the room.

“Cullen,” she moaned and he kissed her to quiet her cries. It was still too dangerous to be heard. The walls of his quarters were solid stone, but in a clear night such as this sounds went too far.

Soon his movements became more ragged, the thrusts faster. Every time he pulled nearly completely out of her before thrusting himself back into the impossible tight heat of her body. And suddenly her body clenched around him. Watching Elyria’s face as she came for a second time brought him over the edge as well and he came deep within her, groaning noisily as the aftershocks of both their orgasms fully emptied him.

Maker, he had never come that hard. It was as if every rational thought was erased from his mind and the pure bliss was all he could feel.

Elyria screamed his name and could only avoid being heard by pressing her hands on her mouth. All the pain was long forgotten and everything that remained was a feeling of utter ecstasy and completion. It was as if they were meant for each other. He seemed to fill a void she never knew existed within her. He fit perfectly into her body and into her soul.  

Cullen kissed her before he collapsed on her body, burying her under him. But Elyria didn’t mind his heavy body on hers, he felt warm and … like he belonged to her for just a moment longer.

But Cullen lifted his head and smiled at her before he finally pulled out of her body and rested next to her. Elyria felt empty and cold as he left her and she wanted to hold on to the feeling of completion. He pulled her to his chest and held her tight. His warm breath tickled her forehead and she closed her eyes.

Both lay next to each other, joined in a tight embrace and neither of them said anything.

“Can you ask Irving to send a letter of gratitude for the books you’re going to take with you?” Cullen asked suddenly and Elyria opened her eyes and looked up to him. He looked pained, as if dark thoughts clouded his mind.

“What books? What are you… oh…” she rested her forehead against his. “I will ask him.” She understood now. He wouldn’t be able to inquire if she had safely returned to Ferelden without arousing suspicion.

Cullen nodded briefly and took a deep breath. “I won’t be at the docks tomorrow…” He would go if it was possible, but the Knight-Captain never went to the docks when Enchanters were escorted back home.

“I understand.” Elyria kissed him tenderly. “And I won’t come to you to say goodbye.”

Cullen caught her hand and kissed her fingertips. “I understand,” he replied. She would have to return to her room soon or else the morning guards wouldn’t find her and start looking for her. Maker forbids that they were found together. It would be her death as well as his. And he was not going to risk her life. But they could stay a little moment longer, just five more minutes couldn’t hurt.

It had taken them years to admit their feelings. And now they were only allowed half a night together. 


End file.
